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Honeygloom's avatar

I generally like a good haibun with coffee, this one may have ruined my appetite though. Geez, organ mud? That is very vivid. Nicely done🖤

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Wendy Melvin's avatar

And there are too many syllables in the last line.😑I just noticed.🙄 In my exuberance for subtle mayhem, counting syllables went right into the ditch.

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Honeygloom's avatar

Full confession, I do not count syllables when I read. I just enjoy 😊

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Wendy Melvin's avatar

Yay YAY!!😈🥳😈(monstrous happy dance)

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Wendy Melvin's avatar

An utterance breathes.

Slaughtering words, I explain

"That's not even my blood."

(The last line is a direct word-for-word quote from my daughter. There is a story there and I will tell it tomorrow😆) I have more haikus! You have created a monster ...🦹

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Honeygloom's avatar

I love monsters!!! This is great news! I love this haiku as well🖤

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Jon T's avatar

Indulge me—I thought I'd try a Haibun (which includes a Haiku) Horror Haibun? Why not?

Raw hands rip the sinew from cool cadavers. Popping bone tips from meat pockets, fingers press into blood pools and viscous organ mud, releasing the ferrous scent of freedom. Smiling hooks clatter in rows awaiting their passengers. An apron decorated and adorned hangs from a neck. Boots splash and slip in the drainage basin. And the whir of saws, a triumphant song.

bodies break and bend

knives, skewers, pieces in piles

parts in packages

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Kent Peterson's avatar

Laughter House sounds fun.

I missed the sign's leading "S".

The joke was on me.

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