Being centuries old, it can feel at times as though the universe began with me. That the beings who infuse me with their power created me before the Earth and that, as a consequence, I am the only wise one here. This is not true. Not at all. The magnolia, for example, is millions of years wiser than I. Each flower holds an eon in its cup. In my cup, I hold but an evening.
Let’s begin.
Mental Health
They are, as one might expect for a being so ancient, poised and possessed of a powerful equanimity. At one point or another, we all feel the unsettling imbalance of depression. The world is dark, the light is dark, your mind is slow and savage. It’s a persistent anti-existence that the magnolia finds deeply troubling. It has lived for millennia, thrived despite the Earth’s many upheavals and cannot abide this state of wishing to actually not. Merely standing in its presence is enough to undark one’s outlook, however, a tea of fresh petals is most helpful. Drink daily until the brain improves.
This tea is also useful for anxiety, when one has swarms of bees in the chest, both painful and pressing. They want to burst out, the body does not want to rupture. Hot magnolia tea dissolves the bees into a nutrient rich relaxation brew. Just hum hum hum hum and drink and thrive. Drink at the first sting. Drink until those bastards die.
Can’t sleep? Sit cross-legged on your bed in the dark, cup a magnolia flower in one hand. With the other peel off an outer petal, eat it. Eat slowly, petal by petal. Think of expanding in soil. Your shell splitting, roots digging down, shoots pushing up. As you eat each petal imagine a different stage of growth. You’ll awake refreshed with a sheen of pollen on your skin.
Shapeshifting
Some caveats: shapeshifting is painful, dangerous, requires intense concentration, and can be permanent if you’re an idiot.
With that said, let’s begin. You will need a magnolia leaf and some part of the animal that you want to shift into. Hair, shed skin, or a feather is typically the easiest to collect as you don’t need to be in proximity with said animal to collect it. There’s no need to be gruesome or go overboard with slaughtering an animal… unless it’s a fish, hard to collect parts of a fish without catching them and at that point you may as well eat the thing. Set the animal detritus on your head, cover it with a magnolia leaf. Suffer for a few minutes, figure out how to function in this new form, then do whatever it is you wanted to do. When you’re ready to become human again, you’ll have some trouble. The leaf merges with you when you shift, so you can’t exactly doff it like a cap and regain your form. Instead, you’ll need to overcome the animal brain swiftly taking over your consciousness. Picture the leaf in your mind, picture it separating from your skull. This takes intense concentration. As you visualize it, the leaf will begin to separate from the animal you’ve become and come to rest again on the top of your head. Shake it off. Then wait for the agony.
Beetle Lure
Beetles have been pollinating magnolia for millions of years and the two are inextricably linked. Ergo, one can use magnolia to control beetles. Why would one want to? Beetles are quite industrious, great at getting rid of evidence, devouring your old self and brining about a new iteration (literally, by the way- they will eat you alive, then reconstruct you again on your old bones), they’re great company, and can help you contact the dead through intricate tappings.
To summon them, you’ll have to perform the magnolia dance. Fasten a magnolia flower to the top of your head, walk widdershins in a circle while moving your arms up and down in tandem. Do this at sunrise. Do it again at sunset if you wish to keep the beetles over night.
When you have the beetles, convey your intensions verbally, they’re ancient, they’ll understand. Then watch them get to work.
I'm constantly walking widdershins, that should help.