Azazel:Deadwater:9/17/2025
I have been listening to police scanners since they were invented back when we were running with bootleggers and I have to say, the Deadwater PD do absolutely nothing by the book or in anyway by code. It’s refreshing. I didn’t have to look up a single police code because they don’t use them. At all. Not even a simple 10-41 or 10-12. They have three squad cars and eight officers. Plus the sheriff. Here’s an excerpt:
“Hey, Ecklund, your wife write down that nacho cheese recipe yet?”
“Not yet, Grump, she’s busy on her latest sculpture.”
“That bit of shipwreck that washed up three weeks ago?”
“Yep.”
Different voices, new chatter:
“Old Mandy’s out in the buff again. Corner of Puff and Bugloss. Heading north.”
“Why aren’t you stopping her if you’re right there?”
“I don’t like cuffing her.”
“You don’t have to cuff her, she’ll just get in the cruiser.”
Silence
“Percy?”
“She always fights me. Then when I put cuffs on her she tries to get me to touch her ass.”
laughter
“I’m on route.”
Different voices, new chatter:
“Anybody else seeing this black mass in the ocean off Anya’s Leap?”
Two voices, “Yep.”
“The fuck is that? Dead whale?”
“It’s moving. Moving weird, too.”
“Yeah, kind of jelly-lurching.”
“Is it getting bigger?”
“I’m on route.”
“This is dispatch. We’ll send Marge.”
That last one is where I’m headed now. Can’t pass up ‘jelly-lurching.’
Miriam:Deadwater:9/17/2025
Dave died. I saw the whole thing. He tripped on his shoelaces and fell into the fryer. His skin was all slick and bubbly. I got burned pulling him out of the fryer.
They made me go to the hospital, but all my burns are already healed. Demon blood I guess.
I can’t stop thinking about the smell. I can’t stop thinking about him gurgling instead of screaming because he swallowed hot grease.
I asked Az about the spirit trapped in the bun oven. Maybe we should release it…
“Probably not a great idea.” He was oiling his grub suit. I guess they dry out if they aren’t oiled. It was up on a hanger, all fleshy and limp. Empty eyes gaping at me. It even has body hair. I really hate it.
“Why not? It’s killed twenty people already. I checked.”
“It’s going to kill a lot more if it’s free of that oven.”
“Why can’t we just steal the oven then, and bury it or something?”
“We could do that… That actually sounds pretty fun.”
“Az! When can we?”
“Let me come up with a plan.”
“I want to help.”
Az grinned at me, his teeth are a little crooked and it’s so cute.
I’m going to commit my first ever crime- we’ll my first ever grand theft. I’m so excited.
August:Heaven:A Cell
I have received word from Evelyn. She is capable of meditating the mouth on her wall as well. We are convinced that if we could keep our bodies from healing we could escape this prison.
Meanwhile our court case proceeds. The prosecutors are intent on pursuing a choir sentence, the judge has refused a plea deal on the grounds that three choir members recently dissolved into nothingness and must be replaced. Evelyn’s intercessor is attempting to get the records of her transfer released. Perhaps she was transferred here from Hell in error, in which case the fault is not her own… and by extension may not be mine if I was tempted by a great evil unleashed upon me unknowingly.
It’s a long shot, I’m told. Sealed records are nearly impossible to access without divine dispensation. God, according to the intercessors, has not spoken since 1756 so that is unlikely.
The question then remains, how do I keep my wounds from healing in this land of eternal perfection?
