True, the legendary Saint George captured the greedy dragon and freed the fair maiden from its jaws, but he also wouldn’t kill the dragon and free the town it held captive until they all converted to Christianity... at least in some versions. The old carrot and the stick approach that He loves so much. Does make one wonder about the nature of protection. Do you accept the mob-boss protection of a God that makes you pay for it? Is it worth your soul? Worth turning your back on your ancestors and their old Gods? And can He be trusted? I can't say I ever understood the appeal of such compromised assurances.
BUT THEN I've always been good at taking care of myself. And my deal with the Devil was on fair terms, agreed upon by both parties. Contracted, not extorted.
This plant, given over to St. George, was a little troublesome at first, but after some trial and error* I've discovered a way to usurp it for the dark side. Swing the balance in favor of the dragon and leave old George out in the bright cold.
Eat the Princess.
Whiskey was invented by monks doing alchemy, thus it is, by its very nature, a liminal and diabolic substance, perfect for the magic we’re doing here.
You'll need good Irish whiskey. This is a sacrifice. Cut as many D. trifasciata leaves as you like and put them in a large container. Lay them whole and flat in the bottom. Lay also yarrow and stinging nettle in the container along with sweet briar. Cover all plants in Whiskey. Completely submerge.
Recite :
With this devil's drink And these devil's weeds I drive out George Of disingenuous deeds Instead compel thee My dear Dis Pater Lord of dreamy dark And profligate Sater To watch and protect To shield from harm This wicked witch (sub name/title here) Under your charm
Leave the plants soaking for a week or until the D. trifasciata can be separated into fibers. Use the fibers to fashion a bracelet, necklace or some other kind of adornment. It can also be knitted or sewn into clothing if necessary. This should keep you safe from anyone who wants to do you harm or cross your boundaries. And it costs you nothing, but a little whiskey.
Other notable uses, a cure for baldness. Still needs a little work, a little goes a long way. Must refine… try a topical solution. Hit up Tinder for test subjects.
Ulcers, this stuff is great for ulcers. Adding a tincture to chamomile tea has had remarkable effects. Taste is really the only issue here.
*It’s worth noting that one of the failed attempts at this spell produced a rather nasty cherub that chased me around the room spitting and trying to bite. The boys were able to corner it and the little bugger is caged now, who knows, it might be useful one day. I had to put it in the shed with the chickens as it shines obnoxiously. This was the attempt without yarrow. So absolutely, do not ever forget the yarrow.
Did you know that when Charlemagne invaded Saxony he would baptize all the villagers he captured, and then immediately have them executed while they were in a state of presumed grace and thus would enter heaven? He also had his soldiers cut down an immense and ancient oak that was held by the Saxons to be the avatar of Yggdrasil here on earth. Some say that the initial viking raids, which targeted monasteries, were in retaliation for this act of blasphemy against the Norse gods...