(Reader’s, a note: I considered starting after this reading because it is, well, gruesome and pretty upsetting. Consider skipping this and reading the next one if the death of a bunny will upset you. Or, just read up until August turns into mist, then skip the rest.)
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It is difficult to read tarot for the dead. Ghosts don’t experience time in the same linear fashion that we do. Their past, present, and futures are jumbled, like a jigsaw puzzle in the process of being put together. The pieces may fit together eventually, but there will be misplacements along the way. There will also be lost and broken pieces. Their minds reflect this, too. Memories, personality traits, preferences, dissipate over the years. Think of a light in a house, the walls keep the light contained, keep it together and brighter. Take away the walls and it’s only brightest at the source, the farther away you go from the source the more diffused it gets. Ghosts are like all of this and more. It’s hard to tell what the universe has in store for them, or what it thinks they need. For all I know the universe might be the one making jigsaws and knocking down walls.
Today I drew the Ace of Pentacles for August. Pentacles always cause an argument between us. August claims it doesn’t apply to him because he isn’t bound to anything on earth. But he is earth, I tell him, matter cannot be destroyed. His body is part of the ocean floor, his bones fertilized the sea grass. His spirit is part of the stuff floating around us all. At the very least, he certainly seems to be bound to me, and I am bound to the Earth. But August likes to other himself, so he can behave badly without guilt.
You might be wondering what August looks like. He’s tall, probably around six two with his boots on. He has an aquiline nose and a striking jawline. His smile may have been pleasant once. Must have been or how could Evelyn have fallen in love with him. Now it is usually twisted into a weird grin, not happy, not malicious, just, off. His pallor is icy blue, the kind of white and blue that seems to glow with inner radiance. His hair was once brown, I’m told, but is pea soup green now, like seaweed that’s been on the beach for most of a hot day. Today he is wearing a brown frock coat that matches the brown of his eyes.
He can change clothes. I don’t understand exactly how, but he says it has to do with will and intention. Which brings me back to the Ace of Pentacles, for once today he didn’t argue with me about it. He sat down on the rabbit cage and smiled his weird smile.
“I’ve discovered something about will and intention,” he said. His voice was hard to get used to at first. It’s raspy and fades in and out. He says it’s from all the salt water he swallowed trying to swim back to Evelyn.
“What?” I really didn’t want to know what was behind that smile, but there’s never any stopping him. If I could, I would have stopped him a long time ago.
“Tell me again about the ace.”
“It denotes prosperous beginnings of some kind.”
“Ha! Exactly. I’m going to begin a new life today. I’m getting a body. I’ve honed my will to get what I intend to get. Now is the time.” He raised his eye brows and his weird smile grew wide.
“August Evelyn Nevernight, we’ve discussed this.” He jumped from the cage and leapt to the chair where I sat. He put his face in mine.
“Not a human, you git. I know we discussed that.” He straightened, “I’m taking over your rabbit. It hardly does anything. I don’t see how it could matter.
“It eats all of the weeds in the garden. It will matter to me if no one eats the weeds. Additionally, I suspect it will matter to the rabbit. Just because you don’t see animals as having a conscious doesn’t mean they don’t.”
But August continued on as though he didn’t hear me.
“I’m beginning a new life as a rabbit. Then when the rabbit dies I’ll finally get to heaven with Evelyn.” Without another word he turned to vapor. I watched, horrified, not knowing how to help the hapless rabbit munching hay in its cage. The animal suddenly grunted, then it shrieked, a horrible noise I’ve never heard it make before as the vapor filled the cage. The rabbit was shaking and squealing, its huge eyes wide and rolling in its head. I screamed for August to stop but his raspy laughter just filled the room, scratching at my brain. The the rabbit split, like a ripe melon its little being just ripped apart, all gooey and red. I was screaming at August. He’d stopped laughing. I ran.
Reading tarot for a ghost can be difficult.
Gnarly! I have no idea what to expect. Enjoying this though!