1/8/18 - 1/13/18
Hell is a waiting room
1/8/18
August hasn’t reappeared since I dispersed him. I don’t know if he will. Hellbunny is no help as I can’t talk to him like August could. I pulled my own card today, the Nine of Swords reversed. That’s good? The reverse of nightmares and anguish. I started packing.
1/9/18
I drew the Eight of Cups reversed today. August is coming back, I don’t know when, but this has to mean he’s coming back. I’m going back to bed.
1/10/18
I drew The World today. But what has reached completion? My life? My time with August? My time without him? I feel like he’s watching me. Or someone is.
1/11/18
I drew the Six of Pentacles reversed, prosperity and growth upended. It either means August is coming back and I’m doomed, or I’m doomed because I spend the rest of my life worrying that August is coming back.
1/12/18
Son of Cups reversed. I can’t breathe. Of course I’m not operating normally. Of course I’m overemotional. I have PTSD for a thing that might not even be post. Did talk to the realtor, the buyers have signed papers. I am in escrow.
1/13/18
I drew the Death card today…. and August sent me a message. I found a dead raven stretched across my pillow when I went to bed, its ebon wings spread out in welcoming. I told the realtor I might not be around by the time the new owners move in.
