1/5/18 - 1/7/18

My socks won't work and other absurd things

Photo by Janine Meuche on Unsplash

1/5/18

“August, you insulting my honor is the least of my worries.” I sipped cardamom tea. He’d allowed me to run to the store as long as I took him along. I felt so alien among other humans. I’m starting to wonder if maybe things aren’t better with me never leaving the house. I’m still working, there is still money coming in. I’ve begun to wonder, too, if abusive sprits aren’t the reason for all the eccentric shut-ins there ever were in the world.

“Still, as a gentleman, I must apologize for the rude thing I said yesterday. It was unintentional, but nevertheless quite appalling.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Fine. So what is today’s card?”

“Five of Swords.”

“Warning of self destruction? But I just apologized for my boorish behavior.” August kicked his feet up on the kitchen table, “ballocks.”

---

1/6/18

This morning August woke me in bed. Hellbunny was snuggled up against my belly snoring, we both rolled lazily over and looked at him, standing over us, seething.

“My socks won’t work!” His eyes blazed.

“What?” I muttered, trying to sit up amid the tangle of rabbit and sheets.

“I can’t fix my intent to get the right socks. They need to be beige, but they’re… they’re olive.” He punched the bed and sent Hellbunny flying. I grabbed my cards from the bedside, hoping to distract him. He glared at me, his shoulders hunched over in rage.

“Ace of Pentacles, prosperous beginnings…. reversed.” I looked at the bed, the fish tank, everywhere but at August. A hot wind blew over me, searing my skin.

“As though I don’t know I’m having a bad morning. Stupid.” He spat and walked out. Hellbunny ran after him, hissing and screaming.

---

1/7/18

August held his card out in front of him, Three of Pentacles, teamwork, reversed.

“We should go hiking.”

“No.”

“Oh, come on, it would be great, I miss fresh air.”

“You go outside all the time.”

“Well, clearly, we need team building.”

“No. I’m not dying on a mountain because you decide I need to get lost.”

“That wasn’t funny.”

“Please go.”

“Make me.”

I mean, he did ask. I spat out the dispersion spell and poof! He was gone.