Read more

Quite an interesting shrub, not much going on magically, but what we do have is very powerful. With scents that both repel and attract, it’s a coy trickster, good for some, disaster for others.

Let’s start with the good scent, a heady, sweet perfume that creeps right into your soul. You’ll feel it tickle those gaps between bone and emotion. Between what’s solid and what’s ephemeral. It’ll draw you in, get you feeling a little slippery, loose, might start to lose yourself a bit, swaying to nothing, like you’re a blade of grass in the breeze. It’s pleasant, a little weird when the wind changes and you can’t remember what you’re standing there for, but I say enjoy it while it lasts.

Breathe it in deeper and you’ll get dizzy, visions of your own blood running through your veins, your own cells dividing and pulsing with life, visions of disease, of cancer, of imbalances will waver before you. It’s a scary, disorienting, panic-inducing health check, but cheaper than a doctor.

This only works if you’re standing under or near the shrub, picked flowers lose all inward eyesight, but they still smell nice.

The bad scent dwells within the wood. This tree does not like to be cut or pruned… or eaten. It likes to keep what it’s made of, keep itself intact. Harvest seeds only, and only once they’ve dropped from the tree. No amount of begging will get you out of the consequences of cutting P. tobira. You cannot whisper it sweet lovelies. You cannot flatter it, or caress it until it forgives you. It will not forgive you. It will haunt you with fetid nightmares and the feeling that there’s always someone looking over your shoulder. You’ll just never feel right in your skin again.

However, you must cut it in order to obtain its most potent magic, so how does one safely do this? First, an apotropaic, walk widdershins nine times around the shrub, you’ll unwind some of its hostility. It will still want to protect itself, however, so you’ll want to douse your pruning knife in rosemary oil. This oil serves the dual purpose of protecting you from the shrub, and helping the shrub feel protected as well. Open wounds on any plant are entry points for disease and pests, so it’s easy to understand why this one is unwilling to be wounded. (It’s taste for vengeance is less understandable…) Rosemary oil will keep it safe. Now, it will still be very angry with you. So after you’ve taken what you need AND NO MORE, light some incense, stick it in the ground (being wary of fire season and ignitable debris of course), and use the smoke to obscure your escape.

Now you have your stinking bit of shrub, what do you do with it? The foul smell contains a powerful spirit repellent (I mean no one really likes it, but spirits are physically repelled). To that end you can do a lot with it, hang it over your door like the Japanese, wear it in an amulet bag, put it in your pocket, in your hair, in your car, doesn’t really matter. Just know that once the scent wears off, you’re going to get attacked. Those bad spirits will be kept out of scent range, but not gone for good.

Gone for good is a whole different entry….

Mosquitoes also hate it, but that’s not really magic, just good to know.

Share

Tip your witch!

Read more

The Tree of Life, a well deserved title. Not with the same fecund fertility as the Pomegranate, but in the sense that it will support a life, usually many lives, by sacrificing its own body. Of course, not killing any tree is always preferable, so don’t get all sapthirsty.

We will not speak of practical uses, although there are many, for woodworking has never been our speciality. One who is skilled in the crafting of amulets, vessels, staves, and other magical objects will find the wood and bark of this tree very useful. But this is, alas, not our bailiwick, we are much more versed in the art of conversation with trees, a crucial art when it comes to Thuja.

While most trees are subject to the occasional indwelling spirit, Thuja are more susceptible than most because the tree is by nature so helpful and hospitable. It will generally give itself as home to any stray spirit.

It is, of course, polite to ask any plant for permission before you harvest from it. Most plants won’t mind if you don’t, but there are a few varieties that will withhold magic if permission is not gained before harvesting. Others will taint the material they give to ensure random or bad results. As I can never remember which species are the feisty ones, I always ask. A simple “Green child of The Mother, may I harvest of you for magic?” Wait for that warm feeling or for the quiet spiritual whisper, then say, “I thank you for your generosity and I wish you well.” If you are harvesting roots, which will result in the death of the plant, say, “Green child of the Mother, will you give me your life?“ Again, wait for the sign, and then thank the plant for its sacrifice. I suppose it’s possible a plant would say no to your polite requests, but it’s never happened to me.

Thuja requires the same deference, however, as ancient and kindly trees, they also like to hear about you, what you’re up to, how life is. Just a little light small talk. Be sure to ask about them as well, they may have stories to tell, listen politely and find joy in the telling.

Now, if a spirit lives in the tree, the process will be different.

First, how do you know a spirit lives in a tree?

There are usually Signs.

Bad Spirits in a tree:

-bleeding bark
-foul odors
-withered or many dead limbs or branches
-creaking or other strange noises
-a malaise surrounding the tree
-mist that really shouldn’t be there
-rude words appearing in the bark

How to Speak to bad Spirits:

“Excuse me, I need to use part of your vessel for magic, is this permitted? And will you guarantee I’ll get the magic I seek?” Listen, bad spirits love to talk, you’ll hear the response, probably along with curses or jibes, keep your cool. Be prepared to walk away empty handed. Do not harvest if you’ve been told anything other than a clear yes. You will likely not make it out of the forest alive.

Good spirits in a tree:

-very healthy
-a bit of a glow
-light, airy music
-giggling
-very touchy, as in will reach out to touch you, caress, or hold you (be patient here, do not try and run)

How to talk to good spirits in a tree:

“Hello there, you’re looking well, may I harvest some of your vessel for magic, and will you guarantee I’ll get the magic seek?” Good spirits are less chatty, they tend to open their boughs, stretch a branch toward you, glow brighter, sparkle. They always say yes.

Thuja Tea

Use in moderation, can cause convulsions. In small amounts, will open the mind and the senses, lifting the spirit and facilitating second sight. To make the tea, gather a handful of fresh leaves, put them in a mug or tea pot and pour boiling water over them. Allow to steep for five minutes. Then wait, you’ll either feel wonderful or terrible, such is magic sometimes.

Share

Check out past digital zines!

A truly curious specimen. Quite lovely in its oddity, eclectic in its magic, a pillar in its environment. All in all a good plant to have on hand.

We’ll begin with a rather dangerous use: popularity. For clients who desire more friends and followers, real or digital, dry flesh from one of the cactus’ arms and sew into an amulet or place in an apothecary locket. I say dangerous because the nature of pilosocerus is to bring creatures to it in order to feed and protect them. Thus, the plant will put out massive send these, your wretched, homeless, tempest-tost, to me vibes. It will bring hoards of followers, ravenous for your intellectual victuals and personal aura, to your doorstep. I have seen Pilosocereuswearers torn apart by mobs. My advice is to wear the amulet or locket no more than once a month, but even this can be risky, causing only a small friend group to become obsessive. Use with caution.

Less sinister, more weird, can be used to grow hair all over the body. This hair will be long, coarse, and either yellow or white depending on the species used. Definitely invokes the yeti. The hair will of course be made of plant fiber and should break down with normal wear and tear. It will not grow back, but is a wonderful temporary protective layer from cold or heat and helps retain moisture. Excellent for long trips into the wilderness. Much cheaper, lighter, and more breathable than any other outdoor gear in addition to being completely biodegradable. All you have to do is create a tincture with the cactus’ hair, add a little rosemary if you’re also looking for spiritual protection, and drink once for about a month of hair protection.

Bat Summoner

To summon, collect flower nectar and fruit, also add flying insects. Mosquitoes are ideal, but any flying insect will do in a pinch. Mash together in your mortar and pestle.

Bats cannot hear human speech per se, so verbal spells will not help you here. What you must do is pour your mixture in a bowl, then prick yourself in a few fingers and let big drops of blood form. Stand outside, hold the bowl aloft, and shriek in as high a pitch as you can. Shriek until the bats come. Once they are present and feeding or flitting about, the fun begins.

Why Summon bats?

-Spell Delivery System. Bats can hold magic in their wings. This is helpful if you’re looking to deliver a large number of spells to one person, or one spell to a lot of people. A lot of spells to one person is more difficult, as you’ll need to concentrate on an individual bat for long enough to attach one particular spell to it, then repeat for as many spells as you’ve got, and you if you accidentally double spell a single bat, both spells will be null. You can magically tag a bat for this propose if you are quick enough with your intent. Then it will glow with your aura so you’ll be able to spot it while you lay the spell on its wings, but yes, very difficult, very exhausting.

On the other hand, to put one spell on a bunch of bats, just project your intention into the flitting mass. Intention should include spell and target. They’ll find the target on their own, they’re excellent at finding things.

-Summoning the witching hour. It is a long-held fallacy that the witching hour happens naturally every night from three to four AM. This is nonsense. It takes a significant amount of energy to open up a portal to the other side, ergo they are never spontaneous. Additionally, most of this energy is provided by bats. Nay, the witching hour is only summoned by a witch for a specific purpose. The time of night this is done is not important, but bats are most active three or four hours after sunset and return to their roosts before dawn, so keep that in mind.

-To summon the witching hour. First summon your bats (see above). Once that’s done, and the delightful little beasties are swarming around you, shriek a very specific series of tones. These will be higher than what feels comfortable, but do your best.

I’m not sure of the origins of the following incantation, but I do know it is rooted in our most prehistoric lexicon. I’ll do my best to transcribe.

• (in staccato, breath is very important here) - ee ee ee ee ee ee ee ee ee

• (hold for three seconds) aeh (pause, then repeat, holding and pausing for three seconds each until you’ve completed six cycles)

• (staccato again) ai ai ai ai ai (then, held for as long as you can) eeeeeeee

• (finally ululating) yai yai yai yai

The bats will swarm, fly directly upwards as high as they can, then turn quickly downward, swooping the ground dramatically. This is the signal that they have opened the portal. Now, you can pull spirits through. Remember, you only have an hour.

-Turning into a bat. Get naked and smear the summoning mash all over your body. Complete the rest of the ritual as stated above. As the bats lick the mash from your body shriek with them. Inhale their essence, hold out your arms and let their nearness take you. Feel their wings beat against you, feel their fur brush your face, their tongues and teeth rasp against your naked flesh. Let yourself drown in their screaming chaos. Soon you’ll be lifted, you’ll find yourself rising into the night with them. Accomplish whatever you had planned to, just be sure you’re grounded before dawn.

Mothromancy

In the original sense of summoning a spirit, necromancy can be accomplished via moths. Moths and butterflies are, as is well known, actually trapped human souls. One can attract moths with Pilosocereus nectar. This works best in tandem with a dim light, perhaps a flashlight covered with a pillowcase, white is best. Paint nectar on your body and hold the light. When the moths come to you, let them rest on your body while they lap up the nectar. This tickles, try not to laugh and scare them. Whisper to them that you are their light and they should come inside you. The spirits will enter you readily as they are always eager to be back inside a body, you can then hold a conversation with them. When you are ready for them to leave, immolate their moth bodies to send their spirits skyward to the old gods.

Share

Tip your witch, she's hungry

Read more

In an attempt to tame this aggressive and avaricious sensualist of a plant... well I failed, she overtook me. Held me in her intoxicating limbs and breathed her wanton assistance into my bloodstream. She will not be diminished. And I will present her in all her glory. Well, two of her, there are two useful dissociations in her personality.

Lonicera japonica

This one has her head in the earth and in the entrails. She is a seamstress of diseased flesh. She will sew healthy flesh over the red swellings and pustules of rash-pocked skin. She invades the dark wet of an infected lung and plunges her needles into invaders there. Her spirit lives in her flower. It is strongest after the bud turns from green to white, but never let the bud open, or her spirit will escape.

Dry the buds for a lung tea and make a portion into tincture for use in topical salves. Mixes well with Polyscias fruticosa.

Lonicera periclymenum

A decidedly more abstracted spirit lives in this one. Her wiles are more diverse as well, dipping tendrils in every sweet needpot.

For luck, and also for protection, carry dried flowers on your person, any manner will suffice, a sachet, pocket, or locket. Add rose petals to boost either attribute.

Plant beside your door and allow the vine to arch over the lintel. Should an ill intentioned person enter your home, they will be immediately seized by the honeysuckle’s sweet scent, even if the plant is not flowering. The scent will overpower them to the point of pain. Their gut will feel too light. Their head will feel empty. They will feel watched. They will not stay long and will not harm you.

Burn with bay leaf for money. Write the amount you desire on a piece of paper and add with herbs to a silver or ceramic dish. Will burn better if you roll the honeysuckle and bay leaf up in the paper note.

For weak psychic powers that need a boost mix minced, crushed petals with nutmeg and honey. Paint the mixture on your forehead. Lie with your head ringed by honeysuckle vine and your eyes fixed on the sky or ceiling. Chant your question or desired knowledge over and over again. Do not stop or close your eyes until your question has been answered.

Honeysuckle loves rotting corpses and will devour them readily. If you plan to bury a body on your property plant a honeysuckle atop it. It will grow quickly on its favorite fertilizer.

While honeysuckle does famously attract goats, less well known is that it will attract crossroads demons. Be sure you save for them the flower nectar. They adore it and will give you a better deal on your soul trade in.

Falsehoods (aren’t there always)

· Does not snare witches and will only keep them from entering your home if they mean to harm you. Also not a deterrent if you are wearing honeysuckle on your body. Witches love honeysuckle, it is very useful.

· Witches do not use it to climb to an escape (this is rather nonsensical), but it does open up a witch portal through which a witch can escape pursuers. However, one must make a circle of vines on the ground and recite a lengthy spell, so it isn’t a very useful means of escape if one is in a hurry. The spell, I believe, is somewhere around five hundred lines long. Mistakes in the recitation will likely lead to loss of extremities.

· Will give anyone who sleeps with the flowers under their pillow erotic dreams. Popular lore states that only virgins will have these dreams but in fact, virgins are unlikely to have dreams of things they’ve never experienced (more nonsense and patriarchal wishful thinking).

Can specific dreams be planted into a target’s head? Certainly, but not with honeysuckle. I have a spell for that somewhere…

Share

Witches need brew

Read more

Read more

The Mother seeks balance in all things, she seeks an equilibrium in which all get what they need, but none too much or too little. Yet some of her offspring crave excess. They crave the lassitude that bedfellows lush fecundity. But abundance is a curse. There are finite limits to quantitative goodness. The medicine transmutes to poison with just a single added drop. Too many children and you can’t feed them. Too much fruit on the trees and you’ll drive prices down, suffer rot. Too much joy and you’ll cease to feel it. Too much and you want more: an insatiable mouth, open and ever seeking, never appeased.

Too much for one, means too little for another.

The pomegranate flouts The Mother’s scales, weighs heavy on her right side. Whispers “I am a blessing” and entices with bejeweled innards. Should you for whatever perverse reason, desire abundance, here are some spells.

Fertility: Cut a pomegranate into seven segments. Eat the seeds from one segment every day for seven days. Keep your right hand on your womb or testicles as you eat. I would pair this with visits to a fertility specialist and frequent sex. In fact, painting a sex partner with juice from one of the seven segments or sharing seeds from each segment can increase the potency of the magic. Fertility doctors are necessary due to the pomegranate’s tendency to over provide. You may end up with a something more akin to a legion than say… twins.

To accumulate an abundance of lovers: Note this spell increases your attractiveness in general, people may notice you who didn’t before, but it does not attract the unwilling to you. Spells of that nature tend to end in tragedy and are a waste of time and resources. Plus it’s creepy, forcing someone to fall in love with you. We don’t really approve. Take heed, though, an abundance of lovers is quite a time commitment and generally involves a web of lies. We don’t foresee a long life for those thus engaged. Also there’s syphilis et al.

Take the juice of one whole pomegranate and mix it with either semen or vaginal fluid. Smear it all over your body, reserving a small vial. Thus painted with erotic fluids, dance under the new or waxing gibbous (but no later than half) moon to the music of the night. The spell will last until the next moon cycle starts. The vial can be worn around the neck or put in a pocket for an extra boost or when the original spell as worn off. It’s not as strong, but works in a pinch.

Financial: Crush dried pomegranate rind together with bay leaves. Write your financial goals on a scrap of paper, tear it up and add it to the herb and skin mixture. Set it on fire and keep the ashes in a large jar. Repeat every three months until the jar is full. When it’s full, bury it with the lid of the jar pointing north, or on the north side of your property if you have property. There is generally a price to pay for these kinds of spells… so before you begin the endeavor, ask yourself, is money worth a blood sacrifice? Casualties are inherent in wealth accumulation.

Knowledge: This one is risky, acquiring too much knowledge too quickly is a shortcut to a long stay in an asylum, but if you must… For this spell to work a ripe fruit must be plucked straight off the tree. Lie with your head on the gravestone of an academic, the smarter the better. Must be under a starry sky. With your fingers, peel and tear apart the pomegranate, let the juices run over you as you eat and watch the night pass by. Each seed contains a truth, and by morning you’ll know them all. Repeat as many times as your sanity can take. It’s a good idea to try a different academic’s grave each time as well.

See also the anti-fertility spell we invented which involved parents eating pomegranate seeds fed to them by their children in order to absorb them (the children) back into their bodies.

Share

Tip your witch

Bloodleaf of want and hunger, Iresine herbstii is not a plant for the novice. An experienced hand is required to achieve its most delicious and deleterious effects without severe consequences.

Mmm... I get dizzy just thinking about its smoke. Fills the lungs and fills the head with happy thoughts of others dead. There’s nothing quite like it. Smokey visions of a black figure, hungry for life force. It’ll latch on to anything with a pulse if you aren’t careful. That, of course, means you. So keep your focus on your victim, you’ll do a little astral shimmy to get where they are, then the fun begins. This spirit will bind to them and feed until they wither and die. The rapidity of death depends on the size of the victim, larger victims will die more quickly as the spirit is likely to glut themselves. They’ll ration a thinner victim. This is important to plan for. If, for example, you’re in imminent danger from your target and your target is a thin one, you’ll need to arrange a safe place to hide for the days or weeks it could take for them to die.

So What could go wrong?

-You fail to visualize your victim and you are vampirized instead.

-You fail to visualize your victim and an innocent is killed instead.

-The spirit sucks you into its world and you are doomed to its same fate. How does this happen? Generally it happens because you want it to. You see the spirit and are seized by a deep longing for it and for the embrace it gives to the living. You want the intimacy of taking another’s life into you. The problem is that most people don’t know they want this until they see the dark spirit. Some are able to fight the desire to let go, others are not. Try to resolve any feelings of loneliness before attempting this ritual.

Can also make you feel like a witch in her forest (…like a million bucks? Is that still what the kids say?) So can you take it for the feels and not for the shadow beast life sucking feature?

Yes

But

Your intentions must be very clear: Bloodleaf, bitch, I Love you, but I just want the high.

Or

Bloodleaf feel I low of Spirit,

Be my dopamine, right?

Be my serotonin

Don’t be killing no one

Or some such thing

Whatever suits

For divination, make a tea of dandelion root and dried bloodleaf leaves, drop an obsidian stone into the tea. Use typical tea to water ratios, drink no more than a teacup.

Burn rosemary, you will be letting spirits in.

You’ll feel the heat of the tea move through you as it opens you up to higher spiritual planes. Elation and a frisson of energy will replace all fear and doubt. Your vision will fade. Now is the time to ask your questions, as your confidence surges. Let forward only the spirits with burning blue auras, they will speak the truth. All others hold back with the outstretched palm of your right hand. Don’t stray from your intentions, though this will be tempting. You’ll have around five minutes.

Finally, as a facial tonic, crush leaves and stems in a mortar and pestle, steep in witch hazel for a week, then strain, use as a spot treatment for acne, burns, bug bites, hives, or other skin eruptions.

Share

Like this? Leave a tip!

Read more

Welcome to The Grim Grimoire! If you’re new here, I have a pretty extensive back catalogue of spells available to paid subscribers, check them out on The Grim Grimoire tab. Going forward, the text version of each spell will be available for free subscribers, and a digital zine version will be available to paid subscribers.

But for this post, I’m including them both, so you can get an idea of what each one looks like.

Enough admin, time for magic.

Corokia (text version)

Strange, ancient, wise, obscure. Difficult to work with, but worth the effort. Due to its zig zagging form, holding on to strong intentions is key when working with this plant. It can lose its focus if you lose yours. Then there's no telling what might happen. For example, I lost my focus once while creating an invisibility potion and ended up with a reverse visibility potion which caused the drinker to see everyone inside out. It's still sitting on a shelf. I've tried marketing it to doctors, but they are unfortunately magic averse. Not sure I could replicate it anyway without knowing what fungus gnat of a thought broke my focus… It’s not as though I frequently think of seeing the insides of people.

Where was I?

Ah yes, let’s begin.

The Body

Stomach

Great for tummy troubles of the pedestrian indigestion type. Make tea from leaves. Flavor as desired, pairs well with chamomile or ginger. Also great for expelling belly spirits by relaxing the esophagus and cardiac sphincter. Then you can reach in and grab them (the spirit). Take care not to put pressure on the jaw while your arm is down the throat. And don’t thrash around too much in the stomach, as you can imagine that has unpleasant consequences.

Shrinking

Corokia’s small leaves can be used in a shrinking cake. Sweet or savory, it doesn't matter as long as the cake is baked in a small pan and is made before the tenth day of any month before October. The earlier in the year, the greater the shrinking power. Effects are permanent only if you sleep while shrunken. If you can manage to stay up until three AM, the spell wears off.

Note: zz for growth if necessary, as in a client falls asleep and didn’t wish to remain small.

Wounds

Craft a needle of Corokia wood, keep a bend in the wood in the center of your needle and it will serve as a perfect wound stitcher. Sanitize in a flame that burns with joyweed and lavender. Pass through the flame frequently while stitching, both to ensure sanitary conditions are met, and to reaffirm the healing bond with Lucifer. All fire is of Earth and thus belongs to the Dark Lord, it can heal or harm, whatever your intention. Thus, a clear intention is key. A prayer to Satan is appropriate if the situation is fraught and focus is difficult.

Lord of Darkness keep this fire burning
As my love for you burns eternal
May your fire heal this wound

Invisibility

Tricky tricky. Intentions must be clear, pure, and unwavering as

this tincture is steeped. See note above. Strong tincture is preferred. Steep

both leaves and stems in a good vodka, 80 proof or above, for about a month. Every time you shake the jar you must fill your head with thoughts of invisibility

I am Wind
I am Spirit
You see nothing
For I am not

Once the tincture is ready, be very careful not to think about visibility in its presence. It goes off easily and then will only accomplish partial invisibility. Lasts about three hours. Use only once per moon cycle.

Bird Summoner

You'll need berries, crushed, and a few drops of your blood. With the bloodjuice paint wings on your chest, something simple. Place the crushed berries in a dish on the ground or in your bird feeder. You'll attract different birds this way, which is only problematic if you have very specific aims. That said, if you do need specific birds, be sure to put their feathers in your hair. Sit by the bowl of crushed berries, or your feeder and be quiet. Birds are very sensitive to sound and might be offended if your tone is off. Once they drink your bloodjuice, it’ll be a different story, but until that happens. Hush. It helps to picture them flocking all around you, visualize them sitting on you, walking around you. You aren’t going to be able to understand birds after they drink, but they’ll know your intentions. So again, be clear in your thoughts.

A word of caution, if you happen to have bird fossils and happen to drip the bloodjuice on the bird fossils, you’ll get live extinct birds. Obviously we learned this the hard way….

Share

Check out my Ko-Fi shop!

Pteris are perfect for getting rid of an abusive person in your life. Poisoning takes a bit of sadism, especially slow poisoning, but as you watch your victim suffer and die, try to keep your chin up and think of all the good times you’ll have when they’re gone. The most common chemical found in Pteris ferns is arsenic, to test for it you can either buy a water testing kit, or ask the fern. Ferns are an ancient lineage and the elderly always to love to talk. There’s no secret to this, just ask and listen. Before you pull them up, of course. Dead plants do talk, but they say very different things.

And never take murder lightly, it is an affront to the Universe to take an innocent life and you will pay for it if you do, etc.

Pteridium are also quite dangerous. If you cut them they release hydrogen cyanide, so I try to harvest them on windy days. Uncooked they are carcinogenic, if you ever need to give anyone cancer, dried and powdered and slipped into food would be the best way. May or may not be fatal, it’s a bit of a gamble, but serious illness and crippling medical debt are heavy burdens to lay on a victim if they are deserving. It’s a judgment call on a witch’s part.

And now for something infinitely more interesting, molting.

Read more

One of my favorite plants. Useful in so many ways, most of which come down to it rather hating to be touched. Its leaves are quite repellent and it is, although most don’t realize it, quite an aloof fern.

We’ll begin with the head. The seat of reason, the seat of insanity, the seat of your hair. While it isn’t the most pressing of concerns, baldness is a thing the insecure will come to see a witch about. Mash leaves, stems, and honey in a mortal and pestle to make a paste for the pate. Spread thickly, cover with a shower cap, and wear over night for a week. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be a way to control the color of the hair that grows. People with blonde brows grow black hair, or brown brows grow red hair. I think there must be an internal quality that the fern uses to determine hair color. I haven’t worked with it enough to judge what that might be, however.

Now, be careful not to overdose. More than one week of pasting the scalp and any hair that grows will be sentient, with each individual hair forming part of a hive whose collective goal is to control the body. To that end they grow inward as deeply as they grow long on the top of the scalp. Each hair root will wend its way through the body until it is, rather like fungal hyphae, intractably woven through you and controlling everything you do. The hair hive will then find a warm place to build a nest where it can capture food and reproduce. You’ll be along for the ride as it will need to keep you, its host, alive to do the masticating and digesting of whatever the external mass of hair catches. It will then harvest the nutrients from your blood.

So only one week.

Read more

This plant is good for everything. Everyone should have one. Everyone should have several. Use it in salves, poultices, inhalants, tinctures, salads, as appetizers… Really, everything.

But I Suppose I ought to be more specific.

In Thailand, when eaten, the Ming aralia is called Garuda claws after the Hindu deity. Garuda is a powerful battle-birdman-demigod ridden by Vishnu. Vishnu is the God of Good in Hinduism, descending to Earth to restore balance and cosmic order whenever needed. He often rides on Garuda when he does.

Ming aralia is a Witch's Garuda, carrying them into battle with a wealth of weapons. Granted, we are not any kind of righteous deities, but we do attempt to illuminate the road to nowhere and rid the human garden of its pretenders. But anyway, there are witches who excel at curing physical maladies, but that is not my specialty. I'm the metaphysical and psychological type. As such, I've had to adapt Polyscias fruticosa, a real healer’s plant, to suit my needs:

That said, I do still keep a salve around of dried leaves, salt, and bees’ wax. Use a mortar and pestle to grind the dried leaves and salt together, then mix into bees’ wax. Good for all wounds, sores, and rashes… dull but useful information.

Ming aralia is a well known physical febrifuge, but it works well as mental fever reducer as well. For some of us, ideals are akin to Earth's churning magma chambers. They bubble and seethe inside us, but unlike Earth’s magma chambers the chamber inside a human is fed. It's fed with confirmation bias and with conflicts, both internal and external, filling a finite space, growing hotter and hotter. Eventually this magma chamber of beliefs will bubble over, erupting from the flesh in painful, steam-filled boils, cooking the eyeballs and eventually the internal organs.

Polyscias fruticosa will cause the magma to recede, but it is important to remember that unless one learns to confront these fractious ideals and diagnose the root cause of their appeal, it’s unlikely the problem will be permanently solved. One could just chug a vial anytime they’re upset I guess…. I’m not sure what the long term effects are. I’ll have to lure a few volunteers in for a study.

I use a tincture for this emotional fever reducer, if possible added to a glass of ice water. An incense will also work here, I use a ming bark powder with powdered marshmallow root as a binder, honeysuckle can be added for scent and additional fever reducing power. Marshmallow is good for expelling harmful thoughts and promoting peace, so it serves a dual purpose.

Naturally, sometimes the best course of action is to let the client burn. We do what we can, but we’re not miracle workers.

Another use for the incense is necromancy (the talking to spirits type, not raising the dead). Skip the honeysuckle here and just go with straight ming aralia. To prep, drink jasmine tea, but don’t eat anything for at least twenty four hours. In a dark room sit in front of a mirror with the incense burning next to you. Breathe deeply as you stare into the mirror. Whisper over and over the name of the person or being with whom you wish to speak. Sway gently, let your body follow the rising smoke. You will become two, a body dissipating with the haze, and your Other. Your Other will be eyes and mouth and tongue, trapped in the mirror. Your Other has no mind, just soul. When the person or being you’ve called appears, you will see them as an amalgamation with your Other Self. An intricate overlay of self and summoned spirit, your tongue will be the palimpsest on which the questions are asked and answered. Ask wisely, don’t be frivolous, and write everything down as soon as the session is closed. You will have as long as the incense burns. Extinguishing it yourself counts.

Once the smoke is gone you’ll become one again, your body and face reunited. You may feel… floaty, for a while, try grounding yourself by wearing larvikite or serpentine stones if this bothers you. Some witches like the post session float, some don’t. And keep these sessions to no more than once every few months. There are risks involved in separating yourself like this too often. I’m reminded of Irvinia, whom I met in Brazil and who would at random and without control become nothing more than a floating, fleshless abstract horror of eyes, teeth, and tongue in no particular arrangement.

We did attempt a spiritual suturing, but her body had lost too much substance. I’m told she now haunts a road where the cafe we were in when we tried to fix her used to be. Must be startling, driving along and a pair of eyes or set of teeth bounces off your windshield. Perhaps a solitary tongue… as though in admonishment.

Well, that’s a warning anyway.

Share

Witches need brew

Have you ever wrapped yourself in a golden pothos vine? Thus entangled in an artery flowing with carbohydrate and the blood of Earth, have you ever buried your hands in the soil and screamed? Wondering if the Devil could hear you? Wondering if you, like the vine, were meant to grow forever and never reach a destination. Fecund to no finality. Prolific without a point.

What good is gold without a god to eat it?

What good are you without a god to use you?

Contemplate the Devil’s ivy
Growing nowhere
Robust in deprivation
A new leaf named spite
Another named reward
You watered nothing
And you got everything…

A fecund plant with much to tell you. Ask her what the Devil wants of you, she'll give you gold spewed straight from Hell. She’ll whisper his missives as she wraps you in her ever growing embrace. Do what she says. Always.

Read more

To sever or to summon? That is the question, isn't it? Do you want to be loved, to be possessed, or to be alone? All paths have pitfalls… Pain often wears pleasure's mask. Severing leaves scars- and phantoms. Best to weigh the balance of gains and losses. Know your thresholds, gaze into the possible futures. Confront all future selves, what kind of distress are they in?

Chlorophytum Comosum can bring the pain or send it packing. Do you know what you want? Some of us can’t decide.

Read more

Plants are strange, slow moving green monsters, throwing shade and spewing chemicals to protect themselves. Trees in deciduous forests will take care of each other, they’ll even share resources to keep rotting old stumps alive. Jungles are less altruistic. Plants there fight for every resource, every inch of earth is a battlefield. Thus this palm, a small, understory plant, fights even against its own kind for survival. For that reason, I often use to boost strength in a fight. A battle of wills, a battle to the death, this palm cares naught but for your survival.

To create a charm, place parlor palm leaf in an amulet bag along with honeysuckle flowers, to boost your wits. Never hurts to boost your wits in a fight. Smells good, too. Oh and you’ll need to bleed for this.

Put blood in the bag, blood in the fight. 
Blood on your hands, things turn out right.

Ensure blood gets on all the leaves and flowers. Mash them together with your hands, let yourself get lost in the scents of iron and honey and the untamed jungle. Feel the fight. Feel the rage boil through you, a torrent of heat and potential.

Read more

It is a little recognized fact that the French occultist, Eliphas Levi (1810-1875), was the first to declare the inverted pentagram "Evil." Until such time, the symbol, inverted or otherwise, was throughout the world seen as a wholesome symbol of luck and protection. The pentagram has symbolized the human body, the elements, the virtues of knights (friendship, generosity, chastity, piety, and courtesy), the five wounds of Christ, The Vault of Heaven, and so much more, but not until Levi turned it on its head, did it come to symbolize the inversion of the natural order, a turning from the spirit to base materialism. That is, turning from God and allowing worldly things, like pleasure and wealth, to rule your life.

Read more